1st July 2020
by Charlotte Wilson
Funny old year isn’t it, 2020? It didn’t even really start off that well. Does anyone remember how Australia was on fire for literally an entire month? Or that Donald Trump single handily nearly walked us all into WWIII? Not to mention the shocking loss of Kobe Bryant and his teenager daughter in a freak helicopter crash. I remember the memes, there were so many jokes that this year was already the end of days. Oh, how we laughed (lololol) we laughed through the anguish knowing that we’d soon emerge on the other side just in time for a summer filled with scorching heat (oh yeah, I forgot about climate change) and raucous football fans just living their best 2020 lives.
Well, well, well, how foolish we all were hey? We’re in July and Trump tweeting about how his nuclear button was bigger than Kim’s (of Jong Un not Kardashian West fame) now seems like a villainous comedic side note that was left on the cutting room floor of what is now the global blockbuster horror-franchise of 2020: ‘Covid-19’ – featuring an Oscar worthy performance from the ever evolving, and very real, threat of systemic racism.
Whew. Lord knows what the aliens waiting to invade us before Christmas must be thinking right now, but good luck lads, do your worst.
Now, that’s not to say it’s been all bad. As we’ve mentioned a lot over the past few months, there are a lot of positives to take from the global pandemic that is currently upon us. Yes, this virus has quite literally brought the world to its knees, but as a result we’ve seen how the threat is enabling businesses and employees to evolve as we adapt, overcome and attempt to move forward.
And so, the ‘new normal’ is born. The saying goes that it takes 90 days to make or break a habit, and now at day 91 it’s probably safe to assume that the way we work, live, shop, play etc, is all starting to take on a regular pattern.
What have we learnt from our new normal way of living and working through the chaos? Here are some of our key notes…
1. Jogging is an extreme sport
As if jogging wasn’t already arduous enough, you now have to be prepared for an extreme agility course every time you dare to step out and pound the pavement.
The streets and parks are packed with those wanting to escape the house / office / schoolroom for a few hours, meaning that your regular 5k is now a free running masterclass that any 007 villain worth his salt would be proud of.
2. Face masks are a political statement
Simply tweeting your disdain for the patriarchy will no longer do. No no, in Covid-19 Britain if you want to say something important, say it with a bold face mask decorated with a crude cartoon of the politician you hate the most. However, please be warned that this powerful act of defiance will only work if you purchased the mask from Etsy (other trendy independent sellers are available).
P.s. do keep tweeting, you’re doing amazing sweeties ✊
3. All hand cream is not created equal
Seriously, if you’re not willing to invest in a hybrid vitaminE-SPF-shea-butter – glycerine-whale-semen-infused hand cream then quite frankly your hands deserve to fall off. This is not a drill, hand cream elitism is here and it has the power to topple us all.
4. Clothes are a social construct
Be honest, when was the last time you wore real clothes? Jogging bottoms, pyjamas or faux-active wear does not count. Those things are simply a part of you now. I’m talking suits, dresses, pleather mini’s and ill-fitting chinos, where did they go? Will they ever come back? Did they ever really exist? Are they forever lost to the black hole that exists at the back of your wardrobe? The future for clothes is unclear, but we must continue to move forward without them nonetheless.
Also, has anyone checked on the guys who wear boat shoes with no socks? Are they ok?
5. Alcohol units per week have changed in value
Yes, it’s official. Public Health England have confirmed that during Covid-19, if you do not need to leave your house, then alcohol units have reduced in value. This means that you can now drink 1 bottle of wine to every glass that you’d usually have with absolutely no calorie increase. You can’t argue with science I guess.
6. School isn’t for education
Unfortunately, the secret is finally out. We do not send our children to school to gain a well-rounded and robust education. We send them because they are annoying AF and we need someone else to deal with them for a minimum of 6 hours per day.
7. More people than you think dye their hair
It’s true, the biggest trauma of lockdown wasn’t office, gym or shop closures, it was the loss of hairdressers. As the weeks crept by, the roots crept down and people’s true colours were revealed. And, it wasn’t the ladies that kicked up the, most fuss, oh no. It was the fellas who cracked first, blindly reaching for the razors or at-home dye kits. Boy oh boy did they crumble – and it was glorious.
8. Baking is now a national sport
From bored students to agitated furlough-ers, our timelines have been inundated with baked goods. Some good, some bad, and some very very questionable. One thing is for sure however, if I see another banana bread in 2020 I’ll push Kim’s button myself.
9. Zoom is cancelled
Much like when an overzealous celebrity messes up and says something dumb that causes mass offence and outrage, Zoom has had its time in the sun and the crowds are beginning to turn. From relentless team-meets that could have been an email, to a mind-numbingly tedious group quiz every darn night, my prediction is that Zoom Fatigue is the new political movement that’ll define a Covid generation.
10. Air bridges are a thing
Apparently you can safely walk to and from countries where they serve the tastiest pina coladas over a huge bridge, who knew?
In all seriousness, we hope you’re finding positive ways to adjust to the current climate and we implore you to keep faith that no matter what the future holds for our daily routines, all will be well.
If you’ve got an idea that you’d like to discuss about a project, campaign or brand, then please get in touch with us today, we promise we don’t bite…
For more ways on how we can help your business to better engage with clients and customers, check out our Survive and Thrive Digital Toolkits today!
Thanks for reading!