Killer Creative Volume 2: BTS

Welcome to the glitzy, gory underbelly of Pistachio Design’s latest Halloween horror, “Killer Creative Volume 2: The Deadly Designer Strikes Back.”

As we peel back the curtain on the spine-tingling sequel to the 2017 cult classic “Killer Creative Volume 1” it’s time to reveal the real story behind the scenes. Strap yourselves in folks, because we have a TELL ALL exposé. Oh yes, who knew rural Berkshire could harbour creative tension thicker than fake blood.

Could it be that the Killer Creative is more fact than mere fiction….

Known for housing some of the greatest creative visionaries of the 21^st Century, it’s no surprise that the latest Pistachio production was beset with scandal and intrigue. Studio co-founder Marie Holden began the project with a clear vision — a vision, one anonymous source confided, that needed to be fuelled by a strict gluten-free diet for everyone. “If I’m going to create horror, I need you all starved of sugar and joy!” she declared, while manically pressing ‘download update’ on Adobe Illustrator.

Meanwhile, Paul Johnson, the other half of our dynamic-founder duo, had his own issues to contend with. “I cannot work in these conditions!” he was overheard saying to the office postie who’d been roped in to hold a halo light. “This tan didn’t develop itself; I do NOT want to look washed out on camera!!”

Let’s just say, at Pistachio HQ, the fight for creative diva-ship had well and truly begun.

Returning to direct the sequel, Chris Gillen grappled with an existential crisis before filming even began. Denied the budget and time frame he felt befit a man of his talents; it’s said that initial table reads became loaded with tension. One underling even heard him mutter that he’d rather “animate himself off a cliff” than direct volume 3 without a “better-looking cast.”

Then there’s Emmy Malash, the talent. A graphic designer by day and a leading lady by, also day (just in between deadlines). There were whispers years ago that the success of Vol.1 had gone to Emmy’s head. But, if the rest of the crew thought she’d gotten over it, they were in for a very rude awakening.  Emmy’s penchant for method acting had everyone so on edge that they found themselves jumping at the mere sound of her voice. “I’m just trying to stay in character!” she insisted after HR discovered her mixing a mysterious substance into the coffee granules.

If the killer-lead wasn’t enough to contend with, Volume 1’s swashbuckling hero, Rich Eastwood, had difficulty coming to terms with his character’s untimely demise in the sequel. “Can someone at least get Alicia Keys to make a cameo before I’m killed off?” When his request was denied, he started a petition online to demand a rewrite. The case will be debated during Prime Minister’s question time next week.

Used to handling the agency’s marketing department, Stacey Gillen was seemingly enthusiastic to take on the role of editing the movie. That is until she realised how many egos she had to juggle. “I love my husband” she was quoted as saying in the lady’s loo, “but if I have to touch up his footage one more time, I’ll be animating him off that cliff myself!!”

Charlotte Wilson, the project’s ambitious writer, was already known for having a flair for the dramatic. What no one was anticipating however was her writing herself into the starring role as the protagonist. “I mean, who better to save the day than me?” she declared, unironically. Rumour has it that during a read-through, the writer-turned-lead nearly came to blows with the rest of the cast. The trigger? Chris loudly declaring that she was “killing the brand.”

And let’s not forget Lee Wilkinson, Pistachio’s Client Success Manager, and silent investor of the Killer Creative franchise. Busy ensuring that clients weren’t baying for blood while the team were busy producing a masterpiece, “I’m just here to keep everyone happy” he said with a smirk. When asked on rumours that he was the anonymous source for the behind-the-scenes-exposé, he replied with a firm “no comment!”

Was it all worth it? Who knows. But one thing is for sure, you can’t beat the bloodthirsty scent of success. Unfortunately, we can’t get our hands on the full feature-length film just yet, but here’s a horrifying taster for you this All Hallows Eve…

As the credits roll on this behind-the-scenes exposé, it’s clear that while our efforts might not make the Oscars just yet, we had a darn good time putting it all together. And contrary to the blasphemous gossip in this article, the only tears shed on set were those of unbridled joy and laughter.

If you’d like a hand having fun with your own killer-creative, why not drop us a line? We promise we won’t bite…